The Duality or Some Strange Alienation

I went to visit my high school this morning, and it was quite the experience. The drive itself was one of reminiscence, of remembering what we would do at that particular spot on the road in the bus (i.e. scream some random thing to get the teacher’s attention and then shut up all of a sudden and laugh hysterically at how awkward the entire situation was). I could remember each bump, each curve as I approached… Okay, that was way too much over exaggeration and melodrama; The drive brought back quite a few memories and it was fun. On reaching school, I parked the car and approached the security desk. I saw the same old watchman that I had known to be at that very same post for the last couple of years, completely expecting him to recognise me and just let me in without any hesitation. Anti climactically, however, even though he did recognise me as an alumnus of the school, he asked me my purpose for visiting and made me make an entry in the visitor’s register, giving me a visitor badge after it all as well. This was the first part that created a sense of alienation in me, it was this moment that made me realise that I had grown past the shadow of my high school (A rather brash statement, but these true incidents are reasonable evidences to the argument). But on meeting my principal and my other high school teachers, all those feelings were quickly quelled. Every teacher was extremely pleased to see that I had returned, they were pleasantly surprised and were eager to know what I had been doing for the past couple of months. I especially loved interacting with my P.E. instructor and the school principal, since I connected with them the most throughout my years at the school. After meeting everyone, I wandered around the campus for a bit, just for the sake of reminiscing about our old stomping grounds. Right through the middle of my recalling of a very funny incident that I witnessed many years ago at a particular location on the campus, a security guard came up to me and asked me what I was wandering around for. I explained to him that I was an ex-student and I was meeting up with all my teachers. He was very understanding, I will grant him that, but what I didn’t like was the fact that I was being questioned for walking about the very same ground that I had walked on for years (how very dramatic… right?). Of course, that has to do with me alone, so I can’t blame the security guard for doing his job. This is where I felt the sense of a dual identity; An old student at the school I used to call home as well as a college student from America having come back just to see how everything was going at my old school because I had the time. The former identity was stronger in my view, but I didn’t like the fact that I had to even deal with alienation at my very own school! All that aside, it was surreal to have gone back and met up with all my school teachers. I hope to do that one or two more times along with some of my batch mates together.

See you tomorrow! Sorry I haven’t been posting regularly. Nothing much happens during the vacation, and I don’t want to keep posting tiny paragraph posts just for the sake of it. Regular daily’s will return at the beginning of the spring semester.

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